AM NOT DEAD... STILL ALIVE AND KICKING...

Sorry for the lack of updates.
My apologies.. especially to my friends who come here regularly.

Decided to come back from my hiatus after about a month or so. I felt it to be a good time to put aside everything, and take some time off to do some serious thinking. About the future, and the past as well.

As for the future, well, need I say more, just pray for me friends! Met with some 'obstacles' recently and was rather down. So, please be NICE to me when you see me, IF YOU HAPPEN TO SEE ME THAT IS...

My friends say I'm like BATMAN, sometimes can find me, sometimes I seem to disappear into thin air. HAHA, ok, back to serious sh*t!

As for the past, when I looked back, I thought about the things I shouldn't have done, and the things which I should have done but didn't.

DO I HAVE REGRETS??
Well, definitely a big YES.

I regretted putting time, effort and love in places/people, who/that are just wrong.

And I also regretted all the silly things that I did, being stubborn, rebellious at times, and all the trouble I got myself into.

All the time, effort and love should be given to more 'productive things' like church, and to the one who really loved me.

Obviously I'm not proud of it! But just that I've learnt a lot from all the stupid things I've done. Seems like I always have to make mistakes to learn! But I must be thankful too, I guess! I'd rather fall and learn, than to never fall, and don't know what/where I've gone wrong!

I've also unknowingly earned myself a bad name and reputation because of my misdeeds in the past. Since secondary school days! I was a recalcitrant teenager who never learns! My goodness, what have I become??!! I even have to go for counselling sessions with a social worker for a grave mistake that I've committed! And I was the only one in secondary three that have to speak to this very nice and pretty lady social worker for almost a year!

Need I say more?? After that, I continued my bad ways and never seem to learn! It must have been tough for my family, especially my aunt who have to constantly talk to me and go down to school to talk to the principal to promise him that I will change when he threathened to expel me for the 10000th time.

Seriously, that wasn't a past to remember! Or even think about!

And you know what's worse?? When you've finally decided to change, or turn over a new leaf, they refuse to give you the 93897123th chance. They have long given up on you, like leaving you to rot. OmiGawD, I tell you, that jolted me to my senses and woke me up big time!

But I believe I'm a better, and a changed person now! Just ask my friends, especially Ann! haha ;) They can all vouch for it!

After all that tumultuous and eventful past, I believed I've passed my testsssss. But that doesn't give me the right to just stop where I am! I would think twice before doing anything that will hurt those around me.

I'm thankful for a new start, or startssss, and friends and relatives who choose to forgive and forget my past. It wasn't easy for them. It really wasn't. I mean, bible says must forgive 70 times 7 times, just ask yourself, how many times can you forgive someone?? Maybe twice, or those who are very tolerant can forgive up to 5 or 6 times?? Honestly and earnestly ask yourself the above question!

Time for me to grow up.